Official Timeline of Reality-On-The-Norm
Disclaimer - Due to the nature of Reality on the Norm, this is a "best fit" timeline.
Date Unknown
Norm Barnaby discovers and names the river Norm. A settlement, Reality, is built.
1487
Sigismund Jones, a knight searching for sanctuary, arrives in Reality and stays to establish the Jones family line.
1902
Grandmother Wolfgang dies. Her family begins the mourning period.
Drake, from 100 years in the future, meets Elvira Wolfgang, wife of Percival Wolfgang, and falls in love with her although he knows nothing can come of it.
Finding a way into the Baron's lab, Drake overhears Wolfgang and Percival talking about their experiments in Kitten Compression and how they will use sleep pods to bypass the mourning period so they can continue their experiments. Drake sets the sleep pods to revive both of them in 100 years.
6 months after leaving the sleep pods, Baron Wolfgang and his brother Percival manage to squeeze 23 kittens in a 3 and ¼ inch space. The resulting implosion creates the Omni Kitten. When Drake interferes, the experiment never happens, although the Omni Kitten still exists.
1923
Emrett Slocombe, Professor of Occult Studies at Reality University, is killed when his house catches fire.
1948
Louis Darcy is born.
1971
Michael Gower is murdered by his wife.
1975
Stephen John Drake is born.
1980
Mika Huy is born.
1985
Davy Jones is born.
Elandra Desmond is born.
1986
Mandi Sommers is born.
1995
Simon Jones is born.
2000
Davy Jones and Elandra Desmond begin dating.
The Sorcerer's Appraisal
Davy travels to an alternate dimension, explores for a bit and then returns home.
2001
Lunchtime of the Damned - occurs Thursday
Davy & Elandra raise Michael Gower from the dead.
Gower, a mindless zombie, kills Bill Cosby.
Davy restores Gower's soul. With his soul back, Gower decides to go into politics. Baron Wolfgang simply wants Gower to get off his property.
Vengeance of the Chicken - occurs Friday night (1 day after LotD)
Davy & Elandra arrange to meet in Town Square. Baron Wolfgang tries to assassinate Davy but misses when Davy kneels down to pick up a penny. The bullet hits Fred, the Chicken's brother, killing him.
Chicken joins the Dayist religion.
In retribution for Fred's murder, the Chicken kills the Baron's brother, Percival.
Gower is living in the Baron's backyard.
Time Out
Dr. Ohio Mercurtious the 3rd is sent through time.
Soviet Union Strikes Back - occurs Sunday morning
Davy put a curse on his cousin Chris the previous day (Saturday).
Russians steal Davy's ring. With the help of Mr. Namyah, Reality High's gym teacher, Davy shrinks the Russians and mails them to Abu Dhabi.
Moboski is sent to Reality General after an accident in the gym leaves him with a broken back.
Fowl Play - occurs Monday (3 days after Vengeance of the Chicken)
The Sheriff arrests Chicken for murder. While in the courthouse the Chicken shoots the Sheriff's leg off and escapes.
The Sheriff sent to Reality General to be fitted with a wooden leg.
Baron Wolfgang writes to his nephew Ludwig, informing him that his father's manor now belongs to Ludwig.
I Spy
Gower moves into the Reality General morgue.
Mika Huy, a freelance photographer, arrives in Reality hoping to find Cosby's body and get a picture of it.
Davy & Elandra enter Reality General to resurrect Cosby but the incantation is interrupted. Mika is confronted by the zombie Cosby and is saved by Davy. Cosby's body disappears.
Mika decides to stay in Reality, because she is attracted to Davy and she feels Reality will provide good subject material.
Blastoff - occurs same day as I Spy
Police are looking for Cosby's killer. Davy, thinking the police are after him wants to return to Reality General and bring Cosby back to life.
Elandra helps Mickey Farley build a rocket by collecting the materials he needs. Mickey decides to use Davy's magic instead because it's easier. The launch occurs during the evening and is a complete failure. Mickey is kicked out of town.
** Mika gets a job as a photographer at the town newspaper, The Realiser.
Nihilism
Tom, servant of Yahtzee, arrives in Reality to make sure the Yahtzeebrand store is ready for Yahtzee's inspection.
While in Reality, Tom glues the door to the grain silo shut.
Yahtzee, having inspected the Yahtzeebrand store, orders it to be destroyed. He announces he will be staying in Reality for a long time, but leaves the next day.
Tom minds the store.
Allen Trilogy
While he's stealing $500 from the chicken so he can get drunk at Skid's, Allen overhears the chicken plotting to take over the world.
Fortified by beer, Allen decides to stop the chicken. Borrowing a cell-phone from the bum, Allen finds a number while searching the chicken's notes. Allen uses the number to contact the chicken's mother and arranges to meet her at the jail.
At the jail Allen agrees to distract the cop so the chicken's mother can escape. Allen is discovered and imprisoned as he had recently been arrested but escaped.
Using a broom to get the cell keys, he uses a crayon to draw a picture of himself so the police will still think he's in the cell.
** Tom leaves Reality.
Nightwatch
Chicken steals the remains of his brother Fred from Reality General morgue and kidnaps Davy to force him to resurrect Fred.
Vicks, while searching for Fred's remains, finds Fred's remains and Davy. Vicks manages to free Davy with one of Davy's spells. The Chicken vanishes when Vicks throws the remains of the spell on it.
Return of Die Vie Ess
DVE has Kyojo order a crate of nuclear weapons to blow up Reality. A nameless law official from the FBI travels to Reality to prevent the crate from reaching DVE. He successfully switches crates and leaves with the nuclear weapons.
Reposessor
The Powers That Be send Death to re-collect Michael Gower's soul.
Though Death succeeds in separating Gower's soul from his body, he returns it after Gower convinces Death to work for him as his campaign manager.
** An Adumbration breaks through the barriers that separate the Adumbrations from everything else. It enters at the Dayism Church cemetery, a "weak point" created by hole torn in the fabric of reality by the Professor Slocombe ritual.
The First Stitch - occurs Wednesday
Greyson, a Threader, is sent to Reality to deal with the tear in the Fabric of Reality.
After getting information from Davy Jones, Greyson seals the tear and returns to his office on the astral plane.
The Postman Only Dies Once - occurs months after "Lunchtime of the Damned"
Postman Pete Bailey is murdered by DVE to prevent him from mailing the music offer that Kyojo filled. As he leaves the scene he cuts out the tongue of Michael Gower, the only witness to the murder.
Gower is hauled off to jail by the sheriff. Mika hires Max to prove Gower's innocence and find out who the murderer was.
After some work, Max restores Gower's tongue and learns that DVE was the killer.
At DVE's manor, Max and Mika are briefly captured but manage to escape. Confronting him, they learn that he's set a bomb on a short timer in the middle of the square. They leave to try to defuse the bomb.
Gower, having freed himself from the cell, arrives in the square in time to leap on the bomb and save the city.
Phil Nihilist, the Yahtzeebrand clerk, drinks nuclear waste.
DVE, posing as mortician Dr. Davis, implants a bomb inside Gower while patching him up.
The Pet Shop Incident
Flossy, a sheep at the Reality Pet Store, returns a bunch of escaped pissants to the store. Flossy lives briefly with the Bum but returns to the pet store when living with him becomes unbearable.
Monty on the Norm
Monty Mole, on the run from Intermole, burrows up into Reality's town square leaving a large hole. Finding items to make cement, he manages to cover the hole up.
Monty gives Flossy to the Bum.
** The Pet Shop moves to a new location, construction of a new building commences.
** Monty the Mole finds a home under the Dayist Church.
A Better Mouse Trap
An accident involving magic and technology send Davy and Elandra to a distant alien world. Working separately they find components to duplicate the accident and send them back home.
When they get back they see the Chicken chase Monty Mole, who has stolen the Chicken's gun.
** Davy Jones dies, although the actual cause is unknown. (ref. RON Guidelines #).
Davy Jones C'est Mort
The Universal Equalizer
2002
Your Bum is Talking
Bum gets a magazine for Dave Nihilist and a stone from Davy's grave for Yahtzee, who is back for another inspection of the Yahtzeebrand store.
Strange Days
Popular musician, Bradford Scotts, buys a house in Reality to escape the constant attention of his fans.
Scoop Da Poop
An unnamed employee of Yahtzee removes dog excrement from the sidewalk in front of the Yahtzeebrand store.
Lost Treasure of RON
Frank Jones puts his house up for sale.
Mika's old car has been parked in the town square for at least 5 weeks.
Hooky McPegleg, the last known pirate, arrives in Reality looking for the Lost Treasure of RON.
Hooky steals Max Griff's dollar.
While he doesn't find the lost treasure, Hooky is appointed to the position of postman by Michael Gower when he digs his way onto the platform where Gower is making a speech.
** Chef Lucca opens an Italian restaurant beside the brown apartment block in the town square.
Dead Man's Political Party
Michael Gower spends the last three days of the campaign doing his best to get votes. During this time, the dam is destroyed.
On election day, it is discovered that Baron Wolfgang, one of the three candidates, rigged the voting process. He is eliminated and Gower is elected as Reality's new mayor.p>
** Hooky and Mika go on a date at Lucca's Restaurant.
Hooky McPegleg, Pirate Postman - occurs 2 weeks after Lost Treasure of RON, on day 3 of DMPP
Hooky learns to read, which allows him to do his job properly.
While delivering the mail he keeps seeing Davy Jones, although no-one else does.
Hooky returns to the Post Office to find a letter addressed to Dr. Die Vie Ess. He reads it and learns of a plot to kill Gower.
Heading to Skids where Gower is throwing a "thank you" party, Hooky shows Gower the letter. DVE, who is in attendance, denies knowing anything about it. Gower is forced to relieve Hooky of his duties and turn him over to the sheriff.
In the jail cell, Hooky is confronted by his old nemesis No-Beard who reveals his plot to discredit Hooky and have him arrested. No-Beard taunts Hooky by telling him he knows the location of the lost treasure and that he's set an explosive that will kill Gower.
Hooky frees himself from the cell, rushes to the beach, knocks No-Beard into the hole No-Beard dug, fills the hole, drags the lost treasure back to the post office and manages to save Gower's life.
The next day in the mayor's office, Gower offers to reinstate Hooky as postman. Hooky declines, having bought an island in the Caribbean, and leaves Reality with the lost treasure.
The Underworld
Gower briefly hires Frank Malone in an attempt to keep Reality's criminal element away from him. The deal fails when Frank's brother Fred attempts to kill Gower. Although Frank manages to save Gower, he is tricked into going to a prison in Mexico.
Phantom Inheritance
Ludwig Wolfgang arrives in Reality to claim his father's manor only to find it inhabited by ghosts. After managing to get rid of the ghosts, Ludwig is killed by the Chicken.
Now a ghost, Ludwig invites the ghosts back to live with him.
**Die Vie Ess makes a second attempt at cloning himself. The clone is dubbed Kyojo 2, as it's not a perfect replica of DVE.
I Spy 2
Mika's editor sends her to take 3 pictures for the paper: Davy's grave, a photo of Mayor Gower, and a picture of the bum.
The Bum discovers his true identify but no-one believes him.
** An Adumbration tears open the fabric of Reality in several locations.
The Unraveling - occurs 5 months after The First Stitch
An Adumbration kidnaps Mandi Sommers, as a living sacrifice for the Rite of Imtor.
Greyson is sent back to Reality to investigate and close the multiple tears that have opened and to stay in Reality to monitor the situation.
Greyson rents an apartment then closes the tears.
Greyson arrives at River Norm High School to find the Adumbration in the middle of the Rite of Imtor. Greyson interrupts the ritual, destroying the Adumbration and saving Mandi's life.
While not complete, the Rite of Imtor does destroy the Seal of Rha, one of the barriers used to keep the Adumbrations imprisoned.
Paranormal Investigations
Jhon Steele, a Paranormal Investigator, comes to Reality looking for anything paranormal. Hearing about Gower he tries to find him.
Locating Gower, Jhon is surprised to find out Gower's the Mayor of Reality. While standing at Davy's grave, he is approached by Mika with a job at the Realiser which he accepts.
Davy Jones is Back
Davy's soul, having spent months being tortured, manages to teleport back to his body. He is however, a ghost.
With Death's help, Davy is able to regain his spell book and resurrects himself.
Rend - occurs Tuesday - 5 weeks after The Unraveling
Greyson, frustrated by his assignment takes to the streets to think. He eventually wanders into a used bookshop and on a whim, takes a look through the Occult section. Remembering his conversation with Davy Jones during his first visit to Reality, Greyson finds a book that contains the work of Professor Slocombe.
Not finding anything useful, Greyson uses his powers to show the past and witnesses the events of 1923 when Slocombe first cast the Resurrection Ritual. Sensing a disturbance in the fabric of Reality, Greyson realizes the Adumbration's plan to escape from their dimension.
Racing to the hills outside of town where the variation is coming from, Greyson is too late to prevent the Adumbrations from tearing apart the Fabric of Reality and pouring in. A chance encounter with Death allows the two to devise a plan that will stop the Adumbrations and force them back through the rift. They agree to meet at the town's abandoned car lot.
Chaos reigns: time shifts, various time lines start merging, inanimate objects begin moving under their own power. An Adumbration enters Elandra's flat and kills her parents.
At City Hall, Greyson saves Gower from an Adumbration and quickly explains the situation to him. Leaving the building, they witness Elandra destroy the Adumbration that killed her parents. Greyson approaches her and offers her the chance for revenge, Elandra accepts.
Meeting Death, Elandra quickly modifies a car to fly, which they use to reach Foozle, the first adumbration.
Intergalactic Life
Alien #28493's (otherwise known as Knoffel) ship crashes in Reality.
After Knoffel refuels his ship, the Chicken steals it, leaving Knoffel stranded in Reality.
Forest on the Norm
Knoffel wakes up to discover Reality transformed into a forest. Exploring, he encounters the Chicken who tells how it crashed Knoffel's starship on Mars while it was returning to earth.
Knoffel travels through an increasing number of random locations before finally ending up at a farm where he meets Mika. He follows Mika back to Reality but is promptly thrown in jail because the townspeople think he turned Reality into a forest.
Toxically Earth
Knoffel, with help from his friends Briskl and Hevlop, save the Earth from destruction.
Commander Keen enters RON
Billy Blaze, otherwise known as Commander Keen, has his pogo stick stolen by a garg.
While traveling to the planet his ship runs out of fuel and Keen is forced to land in Reality.
Finding the fuel for his ship, Keen takes off and reclaims his pogo stick, killing the garg in the process.
The Chef - occurs 6 months after the restaurant opens
Gower is forced to close Lucca's restaurant after receiving a letter from D.O.R.K.S. claiming that Lucca's restaurant failed a health inspection.
Suspicious of the letter, Lucca investigates and discovers Baron Wolfgang wrote it.
Baron Wolfgang kidnaps Lucca's brother Guido in an attempt to force Lucca to hand over control of the restaurant. Lucca rescuces Guido while Baron Wolfgang's plan is stopped by Gower.
Lucca becomes a nudist like his brother.
** Sometime in July - Bigg's uncle Ken begins a trip to visit his nephew.
Cabbage & Kings - occurs during summer, morning
Melt meets Doc who is in town to investigate Gower. Doc agrees to loan Melt money in exchange for some ergotic fungus.
Giving the rent money to Baron Wolfgang, Melt and Drake overhear a phone conversation with Yahtzee, in which he reveals his plan to discredit Gower.
Kittens & Cacti - occurs same day as Cabbage & Kings, evening
Melt, Drake, Doc & Mika decided to stop the Baron's plan. They agree to warn Gower and try to find evidence in the Baron's manor and Yahtzeebrand.
Drake is sent to find the Omni Kitten to help them. After wandering the woods and helping Mary the Fox get rid of a corax he is introduced to the Omni Kitten who tells him to travel back in time.
Drake travels back to 1902 and alters history. When he returns, the Omni kitten explains that even though Drake altered history, the Omni kitten once created, would always exist.
After swapping notes, they leave Gower with the Omni Kitten and confront the Baron at the Boot Depot. The Baron reveals that he's manipulated them so he could get the Stone of M'roww, which he uses to control the Omni Kitten, and through it, all kittens. He orders the kittens to hunt down the chicken that killed his brother.
Apocalypse Meow - occurs same day as Cabbage & Kings, evening
After getting separated from the others when the roof collapses, Drake goes to Yahtzeebrand, rescues Phil Nihilist before finding refuge in Davy Jones' house.
While working to get rid of the kittens that surround the house, Vicks and Biggs force Drake onto the makeshift catapult Elandra designed and use it after they hear that Drake is somewhat responsible for the kitten holocaust.
Landing in the forest, Drake is able to convince Gower to leave the area in the hopes the Omni-Kitten will recover. Drake is shot while protecting the Omni-Kitten from Melt.
Defender of RON - occurs 4 months after Kittens & Cacti
Upon returning to Reality after spending time in a recovery in a Siberia health clinic, he is hit by a car driven by David Hasselhoff. He discovers that he's developed super powers from the toxic waste he drank one year ago.
Suspicious of Hasselhoff's behaviour, Phil spends 2 weeks designing a super hero costume. When the costume's finished he gets a call from DC Comics who, alerted by an article by Mika, threaten to sue unless he changes his powers.
Phil works briefly with Dr. Die Vie Ess to change his powers to corrosive spit.
Phil foils Hasselhoff's plan to broadcast his singing and is sent to the caverns below Reality where he is run over by Phil's brother Dave who is in the Philmobile, a steam-roller.
The Surrealist, who has stolen the Turquoise Daffodil from the museum and defaced Davy's old grave, is still at large.
XMAS RON - occurs middle/late December
Having sat on a bench for four months, Ken signs up to be Reality's Santa so he can make it to Reality in time for the festivities and give presents.
Arriving in Reality a few days before Christmas, Ken begins distributing gifts.
2003
Stuck at Home - occurs start of school spring break
With his parents out of the house, Davy performs a new ritual only to have it hijacked by two demons. Davy banishes both demons before they can possess his younger brother, Simon.
Cold Storage - occurs mid April
- After gathering enough evidence for a story, investiagive journalist Louis Darcy is caught by two thugs and locked in a freezer in a disused factory.
Easter in RON - occurs Easter Sunday (April 20th, 2003)
The Easter Bunny delivers clothes for Knoffel, a small easteregg for the Bum, and a package from Elandra to Davy.
Shadows of RON
John Roley's space craft winds up in Reality. After finding fuel for his ship, he is forced to get it back from Die Vie Ess, who has stolen it.
Roley leaves for his own universe once he gets his ship back.
** Either Gower's term ends or he is ousted from office.
Purity of the Surf - occurs during summer, over 2 days
Josh Beachcomber, after gathering money and finding his surfboard, enters an annual surfing contest and wins.
Due to Death's enthusiasm, Knoffel develops a severe phobia to sand castles.
Gower, campaigning for re-election, has an operation that gives him perfect balance but leaves him susceptible to high frequency sounds.
Pre-RON Bob
MI5Bob is sent to Zikka Village in Brazil to get a thong for Paul Linder's snowman.
MI5 Bob
MI5Bob is sent to find a record of Red Hot Chili Peppers song "Uplift Mofo Party" which is one of the demands made from an old enemy, Jack the Snake.
After finding the record, Bob learns he's wasted his time as his superiors decided to simply buy the album.
Major Bummer Dude - Lassi Quest RON
While passing through Reality, Lassi is forced to rescue Roger, who was kidnapped by Dr. DVE.
The Spoons
Nick Linders looks for a bassist for his band "The Spoons". When he discovers that Richy, owner of Richy's Records, was the bassist for the Clash, he invites Richy to join his band.
Surreality
Yahtzee believes The Surrealist may interfere in his plans so he sends Tom to Reality to discover who this person is.
Date Unknown
IIISpy - occurs day before civic election
Gower is framed and jailed. He asks Mika to investigate his opponents. One is a guest of Dr. Die Vie Ess, the other is Ian Wulfe, co-owner of Cloudy Days Real Estate.
Mika discovers that DVE's guest is a vampire and kills it in self defense. She gets Ian Wulfe, who has been campaigning as an anti-supernatural candidate, to reveal himself as a werewolf.
Gower wins a third term in office.